All Murphy's Fault
by weepingingangelbaby
Summary: Alex is blaming Murphy for their current situation, and Ben has absolutely no idea who he is talking about. One-shot


**Disclaimer: I do not own the wondrous world of Alex Rider.**

 **Warning: Language. If this offends you, don't read**

"Murphy's a bitch!"

Ben Daniels, MI6 agent extraordinaire, turned to his partner and gave him an incredulous look.

"What?! Who the hell is Murphy?"

"You know, Murphy. This is all his fault really. Damn him." Ben just shook his head.

The 'this' that was this mysterious Murphy's fault was his and his partners cover being blown, then being chased by big guys with gun, then their getaway vehicle not starting, and now they were being shot at.

"I'm so confused."

"You'll get it eventually," his partner, the ever mysterious Alex Rider replied.

Alex Rider. MI6's top spy. The spy with the 100% mission success record. The spy with the highest record for pretty much everything, including these certain death situations they were currently caught in. In fact, if it was anyone's fault that they were in this situation, it would be Alex's because he seemed to attract the megalomaniac crazies with guns and goons.

Ben decided to voice just that. "This is all your fault!"

"How in the world is this my fault?! I was not the one who blew our cover!"

"Neither was I! But that has nothing to do with it! Every time, every single time Alex, that I go on a mission with you, at least one of us gets chased with a gun, or gets interrogated, or something!"

Alex thought about it for a minute then shrugged, "Ehhh, whatever. At least it's entertaining." And with that Alex stood up and ran through the flurry of bullets to the next hiding spot.

Ben just sighed. "Every single time," he mumbled to himself as he prepared to follow Alex, "I swear that guy is insane." Ben made a mental note to schedule a psych eval for his partner when they got back to London. Not that he would actually attend. And if he did, he'd probably just scare the shrink into quitting. Again.

Yup. Definitely crazy.

Ben quickly made his way over to Alex avoiding bullets all the way.

"Hey Ben," Alex said when Ben came to a halt beside him.

"What?"

"Murphy's interfering again."

"I don't even know what that means."

"It means I just got shot. Well kinda. It's really only a graze, but grazes still hurt like hell and bleed."

"Alex!" Ben yelled, "Again?! You seriously got shot again?! How many… you know what, I don't even want to know."

"Yes you do. Nine. I've been shot nine times."

"How the hell does one even get shot nine times? You are 25 years old. Most 25 year olds have never even been shot once, but you? No Mr. Alex bloody Rider has to defy all logic and get shot 9 times before he even turns 30."

"Most 25 year olds also haven't been a spy for over ten years," Alex pointed out.

"True, but how does one even get shot 9 times?"

"Well, there was the sniper, then when I was protecting the…"

"No, you know what I am not doing this right now. We are being shot, and here you are talking about all the times you have been shot."

"You asked!"

"I don't care. We are not doing this right now. And another thing, I am never going on a mission with you again."

"Ben, don't be like that. How would you have fun then?"

"Who cares? I'd be alive!"

"You know you love me," Alex grinned.

"Whatever. Brat."

"Jerk."

"Shut up and run." Alex just grinned again.

"Okay." And he did. Alex ran to the next set crate, once again avoiding the bullets coming from their very angry Russian friends. When he made it to the crates he popped his out and screamed at the people shooting at them, "Stop trying to kill me you annoying bastards! I just want to go home and watch… ahh!" Alex ducked quickly as a bullet whizzed by his face. He popped his head up again, "Well that wasn't very nice!"

Alex was down again, and Ben was next to him shaking his head. "What?" Alex asked smiling, even though he knew exactly why Ben was shaking his head.

"You're crazy. A bonafide crazy person, you know that right?"

"That's not what my therapist said."

"Alex, you don't have a therapist. And before you say that proves that you are not crazy, I'm just going to point out that the only reason you don't have on is that the last five times you have been sent to one they quit within the hour, all very traumatized."

Alex smiled wider, "Ahh, I am good, aren't I?"

"Alex that isn't, that's not, I'm not having this conversation right now."

"What conversation are we having? First no talking about gunshot wounds, and no talking about therapists, and may I point out that you brought up both topics."

"How about we talk about escaping the gun toting lunatics!?"

"Oh, those guys, yeah Smithers is sending a helicopter, soooo we just got to wait a few minutes."

"Yeah, wait a few minutes."

"Be patient Ben. The poor fat/skinny man is doing the best he can do!"

"Guns Alex! We are being shot at. Forgive me if I am not in a patient mood while being shot at!" the volume of Ben's voice increased with every word.

"No need to yell Ben. I'm right here," Alex stopped talking as the sound of loud whirring filled the two spies ears, "Look there it is, or ride. See, no need to be so hostile."

"I'll show you hostile," Ben mumbled as both spies ran across the open area crouched low to where the helicopter was landing.

The two of them climbed into the helicopter quickly and Alex yelled at the pilot to take off.

"GO, GO, GO. The Russians are pissed at me 'cause I destroyed their bomb. Again." The pilot listened, and immediately took off.

Ben and Alex settled into the back of the helicopter, and shut the door so that they would be able to talk to one another.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier Smithers was sending a helicopter?" Ben asked when their breaths got under control, and they were settled into their seats.

"I don't know, didn't seem important."

"Import… Alex, the knowledge of our getaway is very important."

"Would you have done anything different if you had known?"

"Well no, but…"

"Then it wasn't important, why waste time telling you something that I already know and that won't affect what you are doing."

"I still say you are crazy."

Alex grinned. "Of course I am. I'm Alex Rider."

A few hours, and ten stitches later found the partners standing in Tulip Jones, head of MI6 office, readying to give their report.

"Everything went well I presume?" Ms. Jones said as she walked into the room and made her way to her desk.

Alex just cocked his head to the side and gave her a 'who-do-think-you-are-talking-to' look. Jones just nodded. She seemed to get the point.

"So what happened? What happened in between you completing your mission, and you having to be extracted via helicopter, armed guards hot on your tail?"

"Murphy happened," Alex replied strait faced. Ben shook his head. He was doing it again, and he had yet to figure out what it meant.

"Murphy?" the head of MI6 responded.

"Yeah. I mean first the bomb was closer to being set off than we originally thought, then Ben tripped the motion detectors, which were not in the security plan, then there were extra guards on the compound, and then the car wouldn't start, and then… well you know the rest."

"Very well," Jones said, accepting the answer, even though Ben was still clueless to who Murphy was and how it possibly could have been his fault. "You can go Agent Rider, I need to talk to Agent Daniels for a moment."

"You got it. I'll be in my office," Alex shuddered, "I hate my office. There's paperwork in there." Alex walked out of the office.

"Yes director."

"How do you think Agent Rider is doing? Mentally I mean."

"Well," Ben said slowly giving himself a few seconds to think carefully about his answer, "There is no doubt in my mind that he is crazy."

"Oh?" Ms. Jones responded, not surprised, more encouraging him to go on.

"He takes risk's no one else is willing to, and they work anyway. He's always a bit too happy, in my opinion, when he is in a dangerous situation, which happens quite often, and he still manages to make it out alive."

"So your opinion."

"He's fine. Alex Rider is like no one else on this planet. If crazy works for him, then let him run with it. Doesn't mean I, or anyone for that matter, will always like it, but it's who Alex Rider is."

"Good," Ms. Jones said, looking very satisfied with his answer, "I'm assigning you as his permanent partner, instead of just sometimes. You seem to be the only one who can handle him in a… satisfactory manner."

"Oh the joys of being me…" Ben said quietly.

Jones just laughed a little, a strange thing to hear from the head of one the most powerful agencies in the world. "Yes, Alex is a strange character is he not. You're dismissed Agent Daniels. Go tell your partner the good news."

Ben turned to walk out the door before looking back at Ms. Jones, "Who's Murphy?"

"Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong," Jones said, "Goodbye Agent Daniels."

Ben walked out, still confused. He was about halfway to Alex's office when suddenly it was all clear. "Murphy's Law!" he said loudly, causing many of the others in the office to turn towards and give him a strange look, "I get who Murphy is now," he muttered under the scrutiny of his fellow colleagues.

Ben just shook his head and smiled as he heard the distant sound of someone laughing hysterically coming from inside Agent Alex bloody Rider's office.


End file.
